The Eclectic One

…Because labels are a poor substitute for thinking

Teens and Sex: Get Over It

Posted by Bill Nance on January 16, 2009

It seems the latest trend in America’s ongoing war on normal, healthy sexual experimentation among young people is charging girls who send naked pictures of themselves to their boyfriends with trafficking child pornography.

Yes, you heard right, the 14 and 15-year-old girls who sent pictures of themselves will now be charged with a serious felony, listed as sex offenders for the rest of their lives, etc.

I’m honestly not sure which I find more odious: The current irrational fear-craze that a child molester is lurking behind every tree, or the upswing in criminalizing teen sexuality.

Girls start menstruating at about 11.75 years-old in America.  So by the time they are 14-15, they’ve been physically sexually mature for between 2.5-4 years on average. No one wants their 15-year-old to be banging her boyfriend, but the facts are that they will in a substantial number of cases, and the number of girls who remain celibate until after age 18 is fairly  small. A recent report by the CDC indicates that 60.5% of high school seniors (average age 17) admitted to having intercourse, and that’s of course not counting the numbers who have had oral sex. By age 20, according to that report, the numbers went up to 75%. Again, this is admitted sex, I personally suspect the actual numbers are much higher.

Look back to your own experience. How many of you remained virgins until marriage? How many of you left high school having as virgins? Did the sky fall because you had sex? Were you emotionally scarred for life? Of course you weren’t.

The U.S. has the highest rate of teen pregnancy and STD infection in the industrialized world for one very simple reason. We make a normal thing criminal and fail to teach responsible and comprehensive sexual curriculum to our kids. That’s all there is to it. Holland, which has no such taboos, doesn’t have the problems we do, nor does any other country where sex is not automatically considered evil and forbidden and not to be discussed at all.

Information is simply information. And there’s no such thing as too much correct information. Age appropriateness in sex education is about kid’s ability to understand and relate to it, not a matter of how old they must be before being exposed to such awful, horrible, eeevul things like birth control and disease prevention.

My daughter, at about age six, started using the term “sexy” to describe things one day. I explained this was not an appropriate word and she gave me a quizzical look and asked why not.  I will freely admit I didn’t know exactly how to put it, since I don’t believe in the concept of “bad” words, merely words that are inappropriate to some circumstances and company. I told her that many people, including me, thought that word was not appropriate for a young lady of her age to be using and that she would need to stop saying it.

A few weeks later she approached me again, and this time asked just what exactly, the word “sexy” meant. After taking a very deep breath, I began to tell her about how babies were made, in terms a six-year-old would understand. As I recall it was something along the lines of “Mommies and Daddies get really close,” etc. and that the term “sexy” was about that process, which didn’t apply at all to her opinions of something. She understood all this completely and it never came up again until she had “the talk” with her mother a few years later, followed up by many more with both her mother and myself over her teen years. I never forbade her to have sex, I merely explained the natural consequences of it and that those consequences were pretty awful for all concerned, so she’d best think about it before doing it. Her mother also saw to it that she had access to birth control.

I’m not going to go into my daughter’s sex life on this blog, but I will say that she’s not become pregnant nor contracted any STDs as far as I know, and she’s 21. So more information certainly doesn’t lead to promiscuity, at least not for her. But even if she had decided to start banging her boyfriend at age 15, something I would not have been pleased with, it would have been perfectly normal, if unwise. Teens do unwise things all day every day. It’s their nature to push all the limits.  And when we as a society set artificial and unnatural limits on sex, like how they should stay virgins until marriage (gimme a break) it’s natural they will simply push this limit even more.

The very notion of making the act of teens having consensual sex with each other (unwise but quite normal) or playing sexual games like taking dirty pictures of themselves (something only possible because of new technology, and comparativly quite harmless) a criminal offense, is disgusting.

Say what you really mean, you putrid little puritans:

SEX IS DIRTY; YOU SHOULD SAVE IT FOR THE ONE YOU MARRY. And if that message makes sense to you, you have bigger issues than the kids you’d like to put in jail for exploring their sexuality.

Listen to these fools on CNN prattle about how a “dirty” picture is the end of the world.

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2 Responses to “Teens and Sex: Get Over It”

  1. Savior said

    Not everyone starts off early…

    I’m an INTJ.. as a scientist I started screwing around with college girls when I was 16 and kept journals of their orgasmic variations. I then started studying sex religiously and finally started having intercourse when I was 25.

    Some of us have a higher tolerance than others… some of us are far more honorable and mature than others. Of course… according to modern psychology… INTJ’s like me only exist in 1.5% of the total world population.

    This means that 98.5% of the world is probably already having sex by the age of 18 and could never give a woman an orgasm without “having” to get their penis wet afterwards.

  2. Bill Nance said

    And this has what exactly to do with the post? I’m confused, since you on one hand admit having sexual escapades at 16 and then claim not to have sex until 25. There is little difference between heavy petting sans clothing, oral sex and vaginal intercourse. Only the possibility of pregnancy makes them in any serious way different.

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